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Thread: Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?

  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?

    If you havent already read these jokes, enjoy......!!!

    Pak Lah, Najib and Samy V were patrolling in a helicopter
    Samy:'if I drop a thousand-note from here, the person that picks it up must be very happy'
    Najib:'if I throw 2 five hundred-notes down, it will make 2 person happy'
    Pak Lah:'if I drop 10 one hundred-note, there will be 10 happy person'
    The pilot murmuring to himself:'why don't all of you just jump down from
    here, that makes 26 million persons happy'

    Samy V wish to enhance his reputation by publishing 1 series of stamps with his portraits.
    1 month after the launch, Samy surveys about its sales.
    Post Office Chief: 'not bad… but quite number of complains that the glue is not strong enough'
    Samy: 'really…?' he spit at the back of the stamp and stick the stamp on
    an envelope 'the glue is ok'
    Post Office Chief: 'but… every one spits on the face of the stamp ….'

    Midnight, Najib went for supper and bump into a robber: 'give me all your
    Najib was very angry: 'I am the honorable Deputy Prime Minister! Better
    behave yourself'
    Robber: ' well, then … return all my money'

    One fine day, PM and parliament members were on the way to a meeting
    where they all crashed into an accident and being rushed to the hospital.
    The reporters were at the hospital, the doctor shook his head 'we have
    done our best to rescue the PM but …'
    Reporters: 'how about Najib?'
    Doctor: 'we were unable to rescue him either …'
    Reporters: 'who have you saved?'

    The doctor was exicted: 'Malaysia is saved (has a hope) now'

    Samy V visited the psychiatric hospital. All the patients hurray for him
    but there is one patient who ignored Samy
    Samy:'why is he not welcoming my arrival?'
    'he is normal (not insane) today' say the doctor

    Samy V had an accident when he was on his way to a village for election
    campaign. A farmer saw and rushed to the scene but all the passengers were dead. He
    buried all the passengers (politicians).
    Few days later, the police in charge found the farmer and asked where all
    the politicians were, 'have they all died?'
    Farmer: hmmm, Samy was screaming that he is still alive when I buried him….'
    Police: why you buried him anyway?'
    Farmer: 'because Samy never tells the truth'

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Re: Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?

    Good one, Pat. How about one on the wig?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Re: Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?'s more ....

    Rafidah, Shahrizat & Jean Abdullah meet GOD onJudgement Day.

    GOD says 'I understand all of you are from Malaysia , which
    to the Bumis, is also known as 'heaven-on-earth'. Here too you all shall
    be treated according to status. You shall meet the who's who of the
    Malaysian cream of the crop.

    You can see two giant gates over there. On one is stated Bumi & the
    other Non-Bumi. Just go to the respective gates & mention your name. BUT
    remember, should your claim turns out to be false, you shall be condemned to the
    tortures of hell for all eternity and lose any chance of
    redemption whatsoever."

    Jean goes over first. She stands outside the Bumi
    gate and mentions her name. The digital display flashes "DLL" and a ear-
    piercing alarm rings out. The gate opens to reveal a chamber of raging fire of
    intense heat. 'Welcome to hell' booms a burly turbaned Sikh as he pulls her
    in. His name tag reads as Irwan Shah Abdullah@DJ Dave@Sukhdave Singh.

    Rafidah & Shahrizat are caught by surprise but smile at each other
    knowingly. Next goes Shahrizat. She too stands outside the Bumi gate &
    mentions her name. The digital display screen flashes "MAMAK" and
    another ear-piercing alarm triggers. The gate opens to reveal an icy
    cold chamber way below freezing point. 'Welcome home, I'm Mamoothy', says
    a sarcastic voice who's name tag reads as Mahathir s/o Mohd Kutty.

    Rafidah who is very sure of qualifying, walks over haughtily to the gate
    which she feels is her birth-right. Just as she mentions her name, the digital
    display flashes "INDIAN" .There is a thunderous flash and the gate opens to
    reveal a pot-bellied figure with a trident in hand & nothing else on
    except a wig. A familiar voice rings out 'Selamat datang Paduka, Kemaluan saya
    amat besar, tetapi walaubagaimana pun.......'.He can't go on as he is
    salivating and panting heavily. She is too shocked for words and turns
    around in time to hear GOD say just before the gate closes forever "Your
    particulars in our record shows your middle name to
    be AP instead of binti....."

    Have a good laugh...!!

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Re: Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?

    AP. Heh! Heh! Heh! Took me a while.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Re: Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?

    There was also a joke going round doing the height of the AP scandal that the fat lady rAPidah cried because her staff at her ministry sang her a birthday song...

    AP birthday to you
    AP birthday to you
    AP birthday to rAPidah
    AP birthday to you

    Many AP returns of the day, rAPidah!
    "The only thing necessary for evil to trumph is for good men to do nothing" - Edmund Burke

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Oct 2008

    Re: Best Malaysian Political Jokes....?

    2008 Malaysian Karaoke.... 9 Finalists Results

    1. Mahathir's favourite song: My Way
    2. Pak Lah: Dream, Dream, Dream
    3.Najib: Your Cheating Heart
    4.Tengku Razaleigh: I Believe I Can Fly
    5. Khairy: Money, Money, Money
    6.IGP: I'll Be Watching You
    7. Anwar: Winds Of Change
    8. Saiful: I Swear

    And the winner is:-

    9. Syed Hamid: Oh Carol, I'm But A Fool

  7. #7
    A great exchange of information....................................... ........

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