Moooving Tales in Bolehland!

By Martin Jalleh

Q: What is the nation suffering from at this moment?
A: Cowburn Mooonoxide!

Q: What are the twists and spins given by the bosses of the National Feedlot Corporation (NFC) scandal called?
A: Mooodifications!

Q: Who was the then Agriculture minister who dubiously awarded the project to the incompetent Shahrizats in 2006 and initially said he saw “nothing unusual or anything wrong” with the project and passed the buck to current minister Noh Omar to answer further questions?
A: DPM, Mooyiddin!

Q: The Shahrizats has no cattle-rearing experience whatsoever?
A: Yes, they were moo-clue-less!

Q: And they were given RM250 million in soft government loans meant to develop a cattle project but ended up buying luxury apartments and a Mercedes, and going on expensive overseas trips?
A: Yes, a very mooortifying fact for the country in hard economic times!

Q: What was the PM’s initial response in Parliament over the scandal?
A: Najib said it was doing mooovellous! There was no wrongdoing. Production will soon increase to “12,000 cattle from 6,000 previously”.

Q: How can one describe in a word current Agriculture Minister Noh’s initial denial in parliament of any impropriety in the award of the project and even calling the project a “success”?
A: Mooonshine!

Q: What about Umno Youth leader Khairy Jamaluddin, who strenuously defended the project initiated during his father-in-law’s premiership and in trying to douse the growing national anger?
A: Sheer mooollifying!

Q: What can be said of Shahrizat’s long and lame logic that there was no conflict of interest?
A: Mooonologues!

Q: What did the cows say of Shahrizat’s lame excuse: “I am only the wife of the NFC boss!”
A: Moooshit!

Q: MACC’s failure to take any action against the bosses (the husband and children of Shahrizat) in spite of the growing and overwhelming evidence of the misappropriation of public funds, is called?
A: Mooockery!

Q: What did the Minister in the PM’s Department, Nazri Aziz exhibit when he declared that the NFC has “breached its loan conditions…The money that was meant for the cattle industry was used for something else”.
A: A mooodicum of intelligence!

Q: Nazri advice that the best way to resolve the issue without having Shahrizat resign is for her family members who are involved in the project to repay the RM250 million soft loan?
A: Moooronic, to say but the least!

Q: How can Noh Omar’s insistence that he did not know if the NFC breached loan conditions as suggested by Nazri Aziz, be viewed as?
A: Pure “moooyang kulit”

Q: What did Najib whisper to Shahrizat whilst hinting to her to step down?
A: Moooderation!

Q: What was the angry Shahrizat’s reply?
A: Mooodesty! Tell Rosmah that when she goes on her shopping trips!

Q: What could have been Shahrizat’s favourite childhood game?
A: Mooonopoly!

Q: What did Dr M and Rafidah advise Shahrizat?
A: Time to mooove!

Q: How has the Opposition viewed the NFC scandal?
A: It has been moousic to their ears!

Q: How has the NFC scandal affected Umno?
A: It has made it look more and more like a moooribund party!

Mooore next time! -mj